He really clung to one thing in this meaningless and alien life - he seemed to really believe in it. This was his wife. Muazzez's presence was not something that would fill the gaps for Yusuf, but his absence was terrible. It was maddeningly painful for her to be taken away from Yusuf's life so unreasonably and so ruthlessly. He knew that what he was really looking for in his life was not Muazzez - but he thought that he would not be able to search for it without Muazzez.